Yeah, that would have worked, too! (After I posted the comment, I thought, "actually that sentence could have done with being split into two", but then I didn't actually say that...)
I can tell exactly what the author is trying to do here. It's supposed to be a hot-and-bothered runaway train of thought. ;) But yeah, restructure to keep the sentiment without introducing grammatical ambiguity. Italicize? That's what I'd probably do, just italicize everything from 'Jesus' onwards.
(no subject)
Date: 2012-10-13 09:24 pm (UTC)Just one comma would have saved that sentence
(no subject)
Date: 2012-10-13 10:19 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2012-10-13 10:21 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2012-10-15 02:14 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2012-10-14 04:33 am (UTC)